jesterproductions:

BACK IN MY DAY WE USED TO LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC

HERE, LET ME PULL OUT MY OLD IPOD AND SHOW YOU DUBSTEP I’M SURE YOU’LL LIKE IT SONNY

“YOU’RE FOURTEEN ALREADY?! SHOULDN’T YOU BE STARING AT PICTURES OF HOMOSEXUALS ON THE INTERNET?”

I actually want to have kids just for the sake of becoming a grandparent.

BACK WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I WAS OBSESSED WITH GAY PORN WHY AREN’T YOU

grandma I’m a straight 11-year-old boy

UGH KIDS THESE DAYS WITH YOUR FANCY HETEROSEXUALITY WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I HAD TO SHIP SLASH COUPLES UPHILL BOTH WAYS IN THE SNOW

“Ugh there’s too many gay couples on tv”
“WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE THERE WERE TWO GAY COUPLES ON TV. KIDS IN AFRICA WISH THEY HAD THE GAY COUPLES THAT YOU HAVE NOW.”

“NOW KIDDO WATCH YOUR GRAMAMA DANCE TO ONE OF HER CHILDHOOD FAVORITES.

TO THE FRONT.

TAKE IT BACK NOW, Y’ALL,CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH.”

Kids, when I was your age I really wanted an Iphone, yeeeah, those thick and slow boxes were cool back then, so what did I do? 

I DREW SO MUCH PORN YOU’D NEED A WHOLE MONTH JUST TO FLIP THROUGH IT.

THAT WAS A FAIR, HONEST-TO-GOD JOB,

NOW GET YOUR LAZY ASSES UP, TAKE THE HOLOPAD AND DRAW YOUR GRANNY AN ORGY TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER

I have to say the last line makes me laugh every time. :)

(Source: sheamnessy)